When No One is Looking--Thoughts on Family

Every single one of us has opinion on family, because every one of us came from one.  I know my family was one that many would not be able to relate to 'cause people just didn't get beat up and verbally assaulted on a regular basis like we did in our family.  And now, we live scattered around the countryside, far outside of a quick drive for mom's cooking.  One generation before ours was equally scattered and equally, if not more, abused.  But the family hasn't always been like this.
I have seen warm and healthy families.  Indeed, my wife's family on her mother's side is a great example of a modern family that can get together and enjoy each other for the sake of just loving to be around each other.  I have been blessed immensely by them, and am eager to hang out with them whenever possible.  But even so, they are victim of the main point that I would like to write on with this post.  They don't all live within a short call away--it takes a plan to get together, and they are just scattered around the state of Minnesota.

My daughter is from her own broken family.  Her mother and I are long since split up--in fact, she has only known bouncing between her mom's and her dad's homes.  Many of her friends are from similar situations, and 'dad's house' is common vernacular.  This coming generation is as used to doing it on their own as any, because that is exactly what they must do.  While not always scattered by mileage, they are certainly scattered in heart and mind.

The family in America is injured.  I have seen that, in general, the family in America has moved so far away from each other--in mind and in body--that there really is no such thing as 'family' any more.  Generations ago, folks stayed close mainly because of technological limitations.  Regardless of why, they learned to cope with each other because they had to.  They would do it because they shared a last name.  Today the family seems to find any reason to roam and 'discover' themselves.  Identity has shifted away from a surname and to the individual.  We have a Facebook, not a photo album.

Neither bad or good, I am not drawing any conclusions either way.  For example, many people in past times had to move for economic reasons.  However, the vast majority of families in bygone days had a home location and children didn't move away.  The members of the family stayed local where they could routinely interact with their loved ones.  Here in Central Minnesota, this is still a commonplace situation.  These families are as jolly as ever, too.  Now of course, there are the typical politics in play, and factions, and dissensions, but that is part of being human.  But at the end of the day, if one is in trouble, the family comes together--like, right now!

My thoughts on the family also move to the country as a whole.  If individuals are the smaller 'part' to the greater whole--family-- then families are the smaller parts to a greater country.  When we see that families are as dysfunctional as they are, this trend is not unexpected to be seen at the country-wide scale.  Surely, the problems transcend the local and move to the regional and national.  

The country is breaking up, and it is because of the individuals trying to do it for themselves.  I am not for sure on this, but I suspect as much.  When family members are long gone from each other and they don't have an accountability from people who actually 'care' beyond their own selfish needs, they are more likely to stray away from the generational truths and roots from which they originally flourished.  When people are not watched by people that regularly watch them because of love, then they don't have to act like they are being watched either.  What we do when no one is looking is just the thing that gets us into trouble.